WANTED: Cool Breeze in Brooklyn - will pay via paypal

Its hot, I feel greasy 10 minutes after a shower. I can see halfway into my head through my pores. Its really hard to do errands, eat, sleep or be in a good mood for that matter! So if anybody knows of a reliable breeze in the area Ill pay 20 bucks for an hour!
Somehow moving to Brooklyn seemed like a great idea... in March! In July I am starting to second guess myself. We have bars on the windows and the landlord did the classic "eh" when I mentioned the AC issue. Plus my dad stole my AC two weeks ago! He did some measuring and discovered that my AC would "just fit" in their bedroom window. (I had my partially junked VW in the driveway so I couldn't argue.) I've thought about the in-room AC's but they are pricey and well, summer is almost over?

HOW I SURVIVE:
1. 33oz Asahi Beer - I know its in a can, but its good, cheap and not as ghetto as a 40oz.
2. Extended trips to the B&N. I read till my neck hurts. Why cant they have nice comfy seats like the B&N upstate?
3. Extended lunches at Chipotle - Super good burritos, you can go upstairs and hang out, eat slow and they dont bug you. (And no stinky or weird folks in there yet!)
4. 2 fans blowing hot air off my laptop and monitor - its really time for the flat screen!
5. Alot of cold showers - still contemplating kiddie pool after seeing Frank's.
6. Crusing on the fixy - its too damn hot for all those gears, brakes n stuff! Get a frame, a seat, some bars, wheels and go!